What Happened to Manners?

 

Have you noticed that sometimes during the last decade etiquette has practically become extinct?  What has happened to manners?  Where have all of the Emily Post coffee table books gone?  Where are the classes that were taught when I was in high school?  What is happening to this world?  Am I the only one who has noticed this decline?

For example, below are some situations I have personally witnessed where manners were nowhere in sight:

• A person knowingly lets a door slam on the woman struggling with a stroller.
• A teenager bumps into someone and never utters a single “excuse me” or “I’m sorry.”
• A guy puts his feet on the theater chair in front of him while someone is sitting in it!
• A young man burps while dining at an upscale restaurant and laughs.
• A driver stops to let a car exit a driveway amid a traffic jam and is never thanked.
• Gifts are given and a thank you note is never received.

 

I could go on and on, and I am sure that each of you have similar stories and more.  The lack of decorum that is developing in our society is troubling, and it is something that needs to be addressed and corrected as soon as possible.   So, let’s start here.

 

Why are manners so important?  The reasons are so great that they deserve a bulleted list:

• You will feel more comfortable and, therefore, more sure of yourself in social and business situations.
• Those around you will feel more comfortable because displaying proper manners means that you care for others’ feelings.
• Your communication with others will be clear and concise.
• You will appear more successful and educated.
• You will always make a good first impression.

 

How can we help to ensure that etiquette is not forgotten?

1. In short, begin at home! Manners need to become an ingrained part of your everyday interactions and, therefore, must first be practiced at home.  Furthermore, children develop habits by watching their parents and siblings.  If you are practicing proper etiquette in your own home, it is sure to rub off on them.

 

2. The rules of etiquette tend to change as society evolves, so keeping up with those changes is imperative. I recommend taking a refresher course in manners at least every five years.  All in all, the one rule that stays constant is The Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  Stick to that rule, and you will always come out ahead.

 

3. Talk to schools and churches about welcoming an etiquette teacher to share her skills with the students, staff, and faculty. When it comes to manners, practice makes perfect, so reiterating the rules on a yearly basis is a great idea.

 

4. Host an “etiquette party.” After all, learning can be fun!  Invite friends and family members over for dinner and drinks, all while learning how to navigate a table setting and how to properly hold a wine glass.

 

5. Make displaying and learning proper etiquette easy for you and those in your home. For instance, I recommend having plenty of books ready for any social situation that may occur. I even love the idea of having an etiquette book on a coffee table for all to peruse when they enter your home.  Also, have plenty of “thank you” notes and a good pen ready when needed.

 

In the end, it all starts with YOU!  Keeping manners at the forefront of your own life is the only way to ensure that they remain an important part of your world.

 

I would love to hear your thoughts on this article!

Thanks for reading!

Erin Love

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Utensil Etiquette

First of all, if you participated in this Facebook post, thank you!!  I love seeing all of that interaction on my posts!!  Wasn’t this etiquette quiz fun?  Did it make you want to learn more?  I hope so!  I am planning an etiquette course for adults and children, so stay tuned! If you would like to be notified of the courses, please consider subscribing.  🙂

Ok…on to the answer to my quiz!  Where do your utensils go when you are FINISHED with your meal?  The answer is C!  How many of you got that??

The picture in Exhibit A is what your plate should look like DURING your meal.

The picture in Exhibit B is what your plate should look like if you need to get up from the table and you have NOT COMPLETED your meal.

and

The picture in Exhibit C is what your plate should look like when you have COMPLETED your meal.

Now, next time you go out to dinner you will be confident and relaxed because you know what to do!

If you have any etiquette questions, please feel free to leave them in the comments!

Thank you for reading!!

Erin Sharplin Love

Panache by Erin

 

Master the Top Dining Etiquette Mistakes

Master the Top Dining Etiquette Mistakes

1.  Bread should always be broken piece-by-piece, buttered, and then eaten.  Never butter the entire piece of bread and then take a bite from it.
2.  Anything that is dropped on the floor should remain there.  If it happens to be your utensil, simply notify the waiter and he should bring you a replacement.
3.  Salt and pepper should always be passed together.
4.  Never pick your teeth or blow your nose at the table.  (I know!  This doesn’t actually seem like one of the “top” etiquette mistakes, but it is!)
5.  A sweetener packet should be folded and placed under the edge of your saucer or bread plate.  Never crumple it up and toss it in the middle of the table, for instance.
6.  Remember to say “please” and “thank you” to your server.  It always amazes me when this simple mannerly rule is neglected.
7. If you discover a piece of bone, gristle, or a seed in your food, remove it the same way it went in. For instance, if you put a piece of fish in your mouth only to discover a tiny bone, gently place the bone on the fork with the tip of your tongue. Don’t spit it out in a grotesque way.
8. Never double dip
9. Never push your plate away from you when you are finished. The server will be able to tell when you have completed your meal.
10. Wait until everyone at your table has been served before beginning. If you happen to be seated with a large amount of people it’s ok to wait until those sitting directly beside you get their plate instead of waiting for the entire table.
11. Place your napkin in your lap almost immediately upon sitting and in your seat should you need to be excused for any reason.
12. Food is passed counter-clockwise.

So, did I refresh your memory? I hope so!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Love,
Erin

VIDEO – Dining Etiquette Reminders

Thank you so much for stopping by!

Love,
Erin

VIDEO – How is Your Salon Etiquette?

Thank you so much for stopping by!

Love,
Erin

Also, feel free to check out my daily outfit blog.
http://www.denimeveryday.wordpress.com

Holiday Etiquette

Thanksgiving Etiquette

When a large group of people get together, even if they are all family and friends, conflict can erupt.  Following proper manners and protocol can help keep the peace so everyone can enjoy their Holiday, as well as, each other.  Isn’t that what we all wish for this Holiday season?

So, here are a few quick and easy etiquette tips to follow tomorrow and for the remainder of the holiday season.

1.  Steer clear of loaded conversations  – aka religion and politics!

2.  Keep the cell phone away from the dinner table.  This is a time to pay attention and enjoy your family.  Don’t worry about what the latest post on Facebook or Twitter may be.  It can wait.

3.  Compliment the cook or cooks.  Always give compliments about the food, decor, fun, etc.  Find something to be thankful for.

4.  Never leave a mess for your host.  Take your plate to the trash or sink, don’t just leave it on the table.  Also, make sure you throw away your napkin and wipe up any crumbs you may have left.  If you see that someone else hasn’t followed this little etiquette rule, help the host out by taking their plate to the trash or sink, as well.

5.  Never leave without saying “bye”!  It dumbfounds me when people think they are “politely bowing out.”  There is nothing polite about leaving without speaking to your host first.

6.  Control your children.  Never let your children run amok in someone else’s home.  Make sure you bring something that will help keep your child occupied.

7.  Always arrive on time and in style – dress appropriately.

8.  Practice table manners!  Don’t talk with your mouth full.  Don’t blow your nose at the table.  Don’t smack.  Etc.

Did I leave anything out?  🙂

Have a Happy, Happy Thanksgiving!!

Love,

Erin

Flag Etiquette

The fourth of July means that many will be flying their American flags high, so I wanted to let you in on the fact that there is etiquette behind the tradition.  Please check out the rules below:

The U.S. Flag, when carried in a procession with other flags, should be either on the marching right (the flag’s own right) or, if there is a line of other flags, in front of the center of that line. Never display the U.S. flag from a float except from a staff, or so suspended that its folds fall free as though staffed.

When displayed either horizontally or vertically against a wall, the union should be in the uppermost corner and to the flags own right, that is, to the observer’s left. When displayed in a window, the flags should be displayed the same way, with the union or blue field to the left of the observer in the street.

When flags of states, cities, or localities, or pennants of societies are flown on the same halyard with the flag of the United States, the latter should always be at the peak.

No other flag or pennant should be placed above, or, if on the same level, to the right of the flag of the United States of America, except during church services conducted by naval chaplains at sea . . . for personnel of the Navy . . . when the church pennant may be flown above the flag. No person shall display the flag of the United Nations or any other national or international flag equal, above, or in a position of superior prominence or honor to, or in place of, the flag of the United States at any place within the United States or any Territory or possession thereof; provided, that nothing in this section shall make unlawful the continuance of the practice heretofore followed of displaying the flag of the United Nations in a position of superior prominence or honor, and other national flags in positions of equal prominence or honor, with that of the flag of the United States at the headquarters of the United Nations.

When the flags are flown from adjacent staffs, the flag of the United States should be hoisted first and lowered last. No such flag or pennant may be placed above the flag of the United States or to the United States flag’s right.

When displayed outdoors with other flags, the position of honor for the U.S. flag is the U.S. flag’s own right which is normally the extreme left position as the flags are most frequently viewed.

Saluting the Flag: When a national flag is raised or lowered as part of a ceremony, or when it passes by in a parade or in review, all persons, except those in uniform, should face the flag and stand at attention with the right hand over the heart.

Those in uniform should give the military salute. When not in uniform, a man should remove his hat with his right hand and hold it at his left shoulder, the hand being over the heart. The flag should be saluted at the moment it passes in a parade or in review. Citizens of other countries stand at attention, but need not salute.

It is the universal custom to display the national flag from sunrise to sunset on buildings and on stationary Flagstaff in the open on all days that weather permits, but especially on national and state holidays and other days that may be proclaimed by the President of the United States. On Memorial Day, the U.S. flag should be half-staffed until noon.

The U.S flag may be displayed 24 hours a day if properly illuminated during hours of darkness.

When Flown at half staff: the U.S. flag should be first hoisted to the peak for a moment and then lowered to the half staff position. The flag should be raised to the peak again before it is lowered for the day.

When other flags are flown from the same halyard: the U.S. flag should always be at the peak. When other flags are flown from adjacent staffs, the U.S. flag should be hoisted first and lowered last. No flag may fly above or to the right of the U.S. flag.

Always hoist the U.S. flag briskly. Lower it ceremoniously.

It is generally not desirable to fly the flag outdoors when the weather is particularly inclement because exposure to severe winds and rain may damage the flag or the pole on which it is displayed. Never in any way should disrespect be shown the U.S. flag. The U.S. flag should never be dipped into any person or thing. Regimental colors, State flags, and organization or institutional flags are dipped as a mark of honor. The U.S. flag should never be displayed with the union down except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property. The U.S. flag should never touch anything beneath it – ground, floor, water or merchandise. The U.S. flag should never be carried horizontally, but it should always be aloft and free. Always allow the U.S. flag to fall free- never use the U.S. flag as wearing apparel, bedding or drapery, festooned, drawn back, nor up, in folds. For draping platforms and decorations in general, use blue, white and red bunting. Always arrange the bunting with the blue above, the white in the middle and the red below. The U.S. flag should never be fastened, displayed, used or stored in any manner which will permit it to be easily torn, soiled or damaged in any way. Never use U.S. flags as a covering or drapes for the ceiling.

Never place anything on the U.S. flag. The U.S. flag should never have placed upon it, or on any part of it, or attached to it, any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture or drawing of any nature. Never use the U.S. flag for receiving, holding, carrying or delivering anything. The U.S. flag should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions, handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins, boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use or discard. Advertising signs should not be fastened to a staff or halyard from which the flag is flown. Never use any part of the U.S. flag as a costume or athletic uniform. A flag patch may be affixed to uniforms of military personnel, firemen, policemen and members of patriotic organizations.

When the U.S. flag is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, it should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably via flag disposal ceremonies held at your local VFW or American Legion Posts.

The above information was derived from Emily Post

Happy Fourth!!

Love,

Erin

Social Media Etiquette

Thank you, for inspiring this post Stacey!!!

Social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin, have become outlets where we socialize, conduct business, and vent about how horrible our day is, and unfortunately, the latter occurs more often than it should.

I’ve noticed a trend on these social media sites and I wonder if you have, too.  People seem to have lost their manners!  What do you think?  Can you recall a moment when you or a friend has displayed manners that would not be tolerated if you were face to face?  I can recall MANY!  So today I would like to teach a little class on “Social Media Etiquette.”

1. Always introduce yourself – When you are adding a “friend” or a “follower”, always introduce yourself via a message if you aren’t 100% sure they remember who you are.  There are a lot of spammers out there! 
2. Speaking of spammers!  This is self-explanatory…but never spam.  If you aren’t in the habit of keeping up with your social media accounts on a weekly basis you should be!  You never know when a spammer could hack into your account and pose as you! 
3. Think before speaking!  This is the most important rule!  If you wouldn’t say something in public or to someone’s face, don’t say it over social media!! 
4. Keep photos tasteful!  We don’t need to see you riding that bull at the bar last night!
5. Don’t post excessively.   A few times a day is ok, but every minute or every time you change locations, or your tooth hurts, or your pet makes a funny face…it can be too much! 
6. Respond to other’s posts.  If you want people to pay attention to what you have to say, show that you are interested in what they have to say, too!
7. Avoid text speak.  U kno wat i meen…This makes you look like an idiot!!!  (my opinion!)
8. Don’t “unfollow” someone without a VERY good reason.  Just because you are mad at someone at that exact moment doesn’t mean that you should “unfriend” them or stop following them.  It looks extremely childish. 

Do you have any tips for displaying proper social media etiquette?  I’d love to hear from you!

Love,

Erin

The Top Dining Etiquette Mistakes

The Top Dining Etiquette Mistakes

1.Bread should be broken piece-by-piece, buttered, and then eaten.

2.Anything that is dropped on the floor should remain there.

3.Salt and pepper should be passed together.

4.Never pick your teeth or blow your nose at the table.

5.A sweetener packet should be folded and place under the edge of your saucer or bread plate.

6.Remember to say “please” and “thank you” to your server.

7.If you discover a piece of bone, gristle, or a seed in your food, remove it the same way it went in.

8.Don’t double dip

9.Never push your plate away from you when you are finished.

10.Wait until everyone at your table has been served before beginning.

11.Place your napkin in your lap almost immediately upon sitting.

12.Food is passed counter-clockwise

Hope these help!!

Have a big piece of cake for me!

Love,

Erin