Ask Erin

Ask Erin

Hey, Erin! I had a question about etiquette. I’m getting married this year, and I was wondering what bridesmaid etiquette was. Do I have to use the same girls whose wedding I was in? How do you let them down gently? Or do you have to use them for bridesmaids too?

Hello!!  First of all, congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding!  My first bit of advice is to do whatever you can to make sure you enjoy the planning process and the weekend of the wedding.  It will fly by and you will be hard pressed to remember any of it if you are stressed out the entire time.  🙂

Now on to your question…(and what a great one it is!) – Deciding who should be in your wedding party is usually fairly easy, but if your family is large and your circle of friends is extensive it may be a bit more difficult.  One thing to keep in mind is that there are no requirements when it comes to whom you should ask.  If you want to include only family members in your wedding party, for instance, your friends will surely understand, and vice versa.   Also, you should never feel obligated to include someone in your wedding just because you were a part of theirs.  If you feel as though they may be expecting to be in your wedding, simply let them know that you are limiting the number of bridesmaids, or that you are only having family members, etc.  Again, your friends will understand and should want to show their support in other ways, such as helping with a shower, or going on vendor visits with you.  There are so many ways to make sure everyone feels included without actually having them as an attendant.

A few other things to keep in mind:

1.  There is no required number of attendants.  You could have one or you could have 15!  Whatever you want!

2.  You don’t even have to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen!  YOU choose!

3.  You can have more than one maid or matron-of-honor!

All in all, a wedding should be the celebration that YOU want it to be.  Make sure your stamp is on it and don’t worry about what the “typical” wedding entails.  As long as you treat others respectfully and with grace, your wedding can be whatever you want it to be.

🙂  Hope this helps!!  If not, I don’t mind elaborating or clarifying.  Just let me know!


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Thank you for reading!



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